This page contains three examples of short inverted pyramid news stories. They exhibit many of the customs and conventions of writing that we are trying to apply in MC 102.
Study these examples carefully and try to emulate them in your writing.
SISTER AND BROTHER KILLED
WHEN BUS, SNOWPLOW CRASH
ALBIN, WYOMING -- A snowplow slammed into a school bus on an icy road Wednesday, killing two siblings and injuring their older brother and two other people.
The crash occurred just before 8 a.m. about eight miles north of the ranching community of Albin, according to Wyoming State Patrol trooper Perry Jones. The bus had made only one stop before the crash.
An 11-year-old girl died at the scene and her 8-year-old brother died later at a hospital, authorities said. Their 18-year-old brother suffered minor injuries.
The bus driver was in serious condition with chest and abdominal injuries, and the plow driver was treated for minor injuries and released.
The K-12 school the children and the teenager attend canceled classes at midday.
• Writing in this story is simple and direct.
• Note attribution of information in second and third paragraphs.
• Story is not written in a narrative form. It doesn’t begin at the beginning and end at the end. Rather it presents information in order of its importance.
• Note the short sentences and short paragraphs.
TEENS SENTENCED AFTER
PLOTTING GUN ATTACK ON SCHOOL
CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Two teenagers have been sentenced to a minimum of a year in custody for plotting an attack at their high school.
The two boys, 15 and 16, had pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit murder at South High School. They still could be held until age 21, the maximum penalty under juvenile law, but under the sentence pronounced Tuesday, the state Department of Youth Services has the discretion to release them after a year.
The plot was discovered when a student told school officials a group of teenagers planned to open fire on Oct. 29, homecoming day.
Two other students have pleaded guilty to inducing panic. One received a minimum six-month sentence. Sentencing for the other was delayed pending completion of a background report.
• Inverted pyramid, rather than narrative style observed.
• One possible flaw in this story is that the second sentence of the second paragraph is very long. How would you shorten it?
• This story lacks direct attribution because the reporter was on the scene to observe the events.
• Why does the story not give the names of the boys?
Quake Hits Seabed Off Greece Island
ATHENS, Greece (AP) -- A strong earthquake shook the seabed off the southern island of Crete on Thursday, but there were no reports of damage or injuries.
The Athens Geodynamic Institute said the undersea quake had a preliminary magnitude of 5 and its epicenter was 220 miles south of Athens. The quake occurred at 8:51 a.m.
Earlier, another quake with a preliminary magnitude of 4.4 occurred offshore in the Aegean Sea about 213 miles northeast of Athens. No injuries or damage were reported from the moderate temblor, which struck at 2:03 a.m. near the island Samothrace.
A quake of magnitude 2.5 to 3 is the smallest generally felt by people. A quake of magnitude 4 often causes slight damage. Magnitude 5 can produce moderat damage.
• As in the previous story, the last two paragraphs give background or non-timely information.
• The lead paragraph uses a strong, descriptive verb.
Second paragraph develops an idea from the lead, the crash.
Third paragraph adds information about those who died.
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